SAD & Gratitude 11/5

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Yellowstone National Park, 9/2018

Welcome to another post 🙂

Today I wanted to talk about a new struggle I seem to be dealing with and some things I may be trying to combat that. As fall is in full swing and the days are growing shorter and shorter, I’ve noticed feeling a bit more gloomy than usual, especially on the cloudy, wet days. Seasonal depression is not something I’ve ever experienced before, until now it seems. If it’s sunny out, I have no problem, but if it’s overcast or precipitating at all, I’m immediately depressed, sometimes as soon as opening my eyes in the morning. I’ve also felt like doing a bunch of sitting around my apartment eating: specifically consuming deliciously unhealthy carb-rich things. Doing things around my apartment, exercising, and talking to people all help, but quiet time alone is also important to me, and it’s during that time the depression sets in again. I’m not completely sure what to do, as outside the traditional routes of medication, dawn simulators, vitamin D supplementation, and sitting in front of a light box, remedies really depend on the individual. I’m thinking of combating these feelings through some aromatherapy of sorts, meditation, continuing my weekly routine of working out 2-3 times, as well as practicing gratitude.

Speaking of gratitude, I’m needing to get back on track with this, so below are some things I’m grateful for!

#1: Heat!

Winter is my least favorite season of the year, and while the snow is beautiful to look at, I’m really thankful to have an apartment with adequate heating to stay warm.

#2: The ability to pursue my passion of lifting weights.

Well–I’m not sure weightlifting is a huge passion of mine yet, as the weightlifting program hasn’t yet begun at my gym, but I’m thankful to have all of the limbs required to lift weights.

#3: My Jeep

My car is 12 years old now: The warranty on it just expired and my dealership has started bugging me about getting into something new. I’d love to have a new car, but the new financial responsibility that comes with it: not so much. I’m thankful that my car has been so dependable throughout the 10 years I’ve had it; it’s gotten me through snowy winters, long summer drives, and rough terrain up in the mountains, all while still running well. I don’t know where I’d be without it!

#4: A new Church

I have a love/hate relationship with the church my family attended while they were here. The people know my family and I, and therefore worry when they don’t see me for a while, but that’s about the only tie I have to the place. Other than that I don’t really benefit from it. Recently I’ve started attending a different church that’s quite a bit less traditional, more open-minded and composed of much more welcoming people. I’ve only attended twice, but so far like the atmosphere, look forward to going, and don’t spend the entire service yawning (no joke, no matter how much sleep I get I always yawn throughout service at my original church). Over the past year I’ve attended different churches here and there, but never found one I felt like attending more than once, so I’m grateful to have a new place to explore and grow

#5: A working kitchen sink!!

Let’s just say I completely took my kitchen sink for granted until it was clogged the other day…

Did some googling, bought a plunger from the store, and now my sink is good as new, and I feel SO MUCH BETTER about life now!

#6: My fellow crossfitters 🙂

Today’s workout completely kicked my butt. I couldn’t seem to get a rhythm going (literally progressed at 2 reps at a time for a while), was tired for the whole workout, even cheated a little and still couldn’t finish in time. It was probably the crappiest I’ve done on a workout in a long, long time, but I’m thankful for all of my coaches and fellow classmates who cheered me on from the sidelines after they finished. At one point during some clean and jerks I was so tired and frustrated with my slow progress that part of me wanted to cry, so having so much support was really helpful.

Thanks for reading!

~ Jessie

Things I’m Grateful for – 10/20/18

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Welcome to another one of my posts 🙂

I really wanted to write a second one this week, focusing on gratitude, which will become a regular practice for me on this blog. Along with working on my self-esteem, another area of emotional health I’ve needed to address for a long time is gratitude: being thankful for the things/experiences/people you have. I have the habit of internalizing mistakes or things that upset me, and letting them bother me for a good portion of the day, when in reality it isn’t the end of the world. Over the last week or so I haven’t necessarily written down anything I’m grateful for, but have practiced being more mentally conscious of the things I have to be thankful for, and it’s made a big difference in my mood throughout the day. I’ve known for a long time that I should make a practice of writing down the things I’m thankful for, and through my blog I’m actually looking forward to doing this now (I’ve literally been waiting to write this for three days because I wanted to post my intro/why I’m doing this blog post first haha). For now, rather than committing myself to daily or weekly posts, I’m just planning to write gratitude entries as I feel like it. So, without further adieu, below are three things I’ve been thankful for this week!

Being a project manager!

This sounds odd because I am a project manager for my job (have been for just over two and a half years now, but truthfully I never truly valued myself as such until recently. I work for a data collection company and manage online healthcare marketing research projects: essentially I send emails back and forth to make sure we get enough physicians to complete surveys about medications and patients. I’ve always called myself a project manager, but since all of my projects are online and all I really do is send emails back and forth all day, I discounted my value in this role. It wasn’t until Thursday of this past week that I realized I am a project manager. I was in the middle of relaying instructions to our programming team for one of my jobs, when it hit me that I’m not a project manager because of project specifications or whether it’s online or in person, but because of all the resources I manage in order to get the job done. Depending on the project, I’m managing client expectations, costs, timeline, my tech who sets up the job, anywhere between one and four partner companies helping me get enough completes, any internal resources we use, and a programmer (should a job need programming), all while ensuring we come out making a profit. And I’m still learning of several other aspects that I haven’t yet had exposure to! It’s a lot, and not anyone could handle being a project manager.

The next experience I’m thankful for is also work-related. Due to my years of schooling, and my dad forcing me to practice typing while growing up, I’m a very good note-taker, and my supervisor took advantage of this earlier this week. We’re hiring another person to do bidding on our team, and my supervisor wanted me to take notes during both scheduled interviews. I’ve only ever been an interviewee, and having a chance to listen in on an interview and even be involved at various points was a great experience to have. On another note, one of the interviewees, when asked how much money he was expecting if hired, admitted that he had previously made six figures, but was more interested in the work than the money and would be willing to accept $35-$40k. I was surprised, but happy to have been there to hear this, because although I want a position that pays more, I also really don’t want to get caught up in the rat race of simply chasing money. I ]want to live comfortably and travel, but would prefer to do something I enjoy everyday, rather than hating my life and having lots of money.

The last item on my list I am thankful for is the ability to freeze food! It’s a very trivial thing, but is absolutely essential to my daily life. Back in March I changed my diet and now eat mostly paleo. In order to maintain this, I marathon cook every other weekend, freeze everything, and take out meals as I need them throughout the week. As a result of the switch, I’ve lost weight, am down a size in clothing, sleep better, have more stable energy levels throughout the day, no longer get “hangry,” have a healthier digestive system, and am just healthier overall. Without the ability to freeze food, I wouldn’t be able to maintain this type of diet and would probably still be unhealthy and unhappy with my body.

Thanks for reading!

~ Jessie